Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#21

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

#247

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

#149

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#520

Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.