Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle. 368 290 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (658 votes)
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.