When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult. 294 310 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (604 votes)
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.