Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#258

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#740

Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

#167

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#689

Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.