Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#272

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

#680

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.