Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#684

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#309

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.