Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#474

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.