Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

282 277

More Chuck Norris facts

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#534

Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.

#607

Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"