Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#568

Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#641

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.