Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#206

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

#82

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.