When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.