When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#202

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

#17

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#326

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#679

Chuck Norris understands women.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.