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Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.
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#323
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#739
Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#558
Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.
#404
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
#420
Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#546
Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.
#185
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
#678
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
#650
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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