Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#179

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

#396

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#424

When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#331

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.