Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#709

Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.

#247

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

#203

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#527

No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.