Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#593

Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#152

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

#334

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.