Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#581

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#607

Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.