Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#535

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#497

All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.