Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#613

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

#213

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

#414

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#608

Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#220

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.