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Roundhouse your way through
680
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Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.
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#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#194
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
#99
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
#316
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
#10
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
#706
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
#460
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
#163
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
#180
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
#359
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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