Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#459

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#513

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#558

Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.