Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

365 335

More Chuck Norris facts

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#17

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

#414

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#172

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.