Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#88

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#657

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

#513

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#522

For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

#600

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#213

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.