Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#696

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#142

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#380

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.