Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#634

Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#740

Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.