Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#256

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#10

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.