Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

#345

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.