Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#322

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

#530

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

#674

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#608

Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#458

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#320

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.