Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#607

Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

#634

Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#416

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.