Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

326 299

More Chuck Norris facts

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#738

COVID-19 is desperate to develop a vaccine against Chuck Norris.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#457

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.