Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#656

Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.

#412

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#485

Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

#507

Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.