Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#641

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#740

Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#535

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#121

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.