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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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#607
Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
#634
Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
#201
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
#735
Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.
#590
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
#318
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
#511
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
#305
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#363
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
#416
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
#473
A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
#59
Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.
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