Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#737

When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.