Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

326 299

More Chuck Norris facts

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#412

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

#611

Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.