Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#527

No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.

#740

Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#131

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#614

Chuck Norris can watch the radio.

#573

Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.