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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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#360
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
#656
Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.
#412
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#640
Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.
#485
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
#181
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
#217
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
#48
Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
#507
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#439
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
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