Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#569

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

#610

Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.