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More Chuck Norris facts

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#706

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.