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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.