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More Chuck Norris facts

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#78

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#578

When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#703

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.