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Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
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#569
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
#741
Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.
#657
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
#469
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
#354
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
#282
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
#594
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
#411
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
#545
Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
#462
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#406
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
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