Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#478

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#532

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#112

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.