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Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
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#517
Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#739
Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.
#264
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#38
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#299
Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
#717
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
#462
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#191
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
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