Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. 299 356 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (655 votes)
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.