Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. 302 356 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (658 votes)
Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.