Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys. 271 245 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (516 votes)
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?