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Roundhouse your way through
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
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#653
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
#745
Chuck Norris can swim on land.
#555
Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
#159
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
#487
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
#118
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
#121
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
#488
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
#531
Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.
#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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