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Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.
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#559
With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#71
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
#315
The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#118
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
#286
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
#585
Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#157
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
#394
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
#404
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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