Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. 331 350 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (681 votes)
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.