Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. 331 350 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (681 votes)
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.