Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#710

When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

#173

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

#677

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#532

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.