Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#17

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#540

Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.