Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#722

Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.

#570

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris' is infinite.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.