Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#680

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#309

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.