Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#540

Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.