Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#615

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#547

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

#622

Chuck Norris can remember the future.

#573

Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.