Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#256

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

#687

Chuck Norris can break water in half.

#537

If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.