The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#461

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#703

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#408

Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.