The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#150

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#25

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#443

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#595

Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.