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Roundhouse your way through
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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#363
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
#84
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
#155
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
#610
Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.
#75
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
#625
Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".
#435
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
#523
Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#439
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
#290
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
#448
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
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