The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#381

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

#365

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#63

In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.