Chuck Norris can remember the future.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#691

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#166

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.