As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

259 264

More Chuck Norris facts

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.