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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
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#295
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
#596
Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
#33
Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
#300
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
#601
Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
#710
When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
#610
Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.
#691
Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#141
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
#223
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
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