As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge. 260 264 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (524 votes)
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.