As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

260 264

More Chuck Norris facts

#691

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#622

Chuck Norris can remember the future.

#675

Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.