Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

#710

When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.