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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.
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#485
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
#7
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
#632
Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#15
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
#26
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
#653
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
#219
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
#344
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#96
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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