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Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
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#683
Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.
#518
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
#205
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
#119
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#237
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#680
Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.
#153
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
#728
Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
#300
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
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