Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#235

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#326

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#405

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

#648

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#345

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.