Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

#205

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

#17

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

#119

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#237

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#680

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

#153

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!