Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

286 267

More Chuck Norris facts

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#598

Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.