Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#458

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#537

If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#380

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

#692

Chuck Norris Let The Dogs Out.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.