Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#568

Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

#703

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#380

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#514

Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.