Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#415

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

#601

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#342

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#162

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.