Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#162

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

#468

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

#111

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#460

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.