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Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
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#264
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
#130
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#468
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
#339
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
#111
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
#562
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
#445
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
#449
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#724
Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.
#460
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
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