Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#573

Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#238

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.