When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#468

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.