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Roundhouse your way through
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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#694
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.
#482
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
#617
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
#125
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
#639
Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#449
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
#384
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
#555
Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#410
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
#189
There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
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