When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#517

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

#203

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

#368

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.