When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

376 300

More Chuck Norris facts

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#88

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#517

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.