When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#694

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#695

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.