Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing. 354 344 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (698 votes)
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.