Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing. 355 343 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (698 votes)
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.