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#279
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
#194
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
#331
Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
#210
Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
#702
Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.
#680
Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.
#662
Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.
#245
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
#617
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#484
Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
#395
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
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