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Roundhouse your way through
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One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
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#720
When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.
#728
Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
#135
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
#592
Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.
#346
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
#421
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#63
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
#301
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
#405
The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
#104
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
#669
Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.
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