Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.