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Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
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#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#660
Chuck Norris can grill a popsicle.
#741
Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#334
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
#259
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
#673
Chuck Norris can tie his shoe while running.
#293
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
#309
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
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