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Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
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#5
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
#210
Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
#505
It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.
#579
Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
#394
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#598
Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#646
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#480
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
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