While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. 367 265 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 58% approval (632 votes)
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.