Chuck Norris can hear sign language. 299 367 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 45% approval (666 votes)
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.