Chuck Norris can hear sign language. 299 367 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 45% approval (666 votes)
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer