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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
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#119
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
#599
How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
#249
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
#773
While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.
#388
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
#735
Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.
#378
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#687
Chuck Norris can break water in half.
#401
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
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