Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#506

Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.

#709

Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"