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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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#586
Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
#369
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#95
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
#61
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
#401
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
#661
Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.
#450
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
#179
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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