Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. 377 326 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (703 votes)
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.