Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#314

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement"

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.