There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. 282 322 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (604 votes)
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.