There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#565

No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.

#692

Chuck Norris Let The Dogs Out.

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#324

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

#425

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

#103

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.