There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#206

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#417

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#165

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.