There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#732

Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#485

Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#132

Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#468

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#743

The moon's shadow doesn't dare follow Chuck Norris.