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For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
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#345
Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
#178
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
#280
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
#141
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
#515
To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#596
Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
#364
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#495
Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.
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