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For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
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#136
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
#550
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
#139
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
#569
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
#13
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#207
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
#641
Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.
#156
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
#215
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
#85
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
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