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For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
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#85
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
#635
Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.
#308
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris' co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#188
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
#65
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#214
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
#547
Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.
#434
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
#254
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
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