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For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
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#115
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#501
The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
#432
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#300
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
#360
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
#178
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
#612
There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
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