Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him. 317 249 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (566 votes)
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.