Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

336 368

More Chuck Norris facts

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#730

The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#650

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#657

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#732

Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.