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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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#591
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#436
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
#231
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
#366
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#618
Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#439
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
#503
Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.
#590
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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