Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#165

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#720

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#238

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#569

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.