Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

#610

Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.

#185

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.