Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

#532

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

#443

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.