A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

360 304

More Chuck Norris facts

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#65

Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#650

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#691

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.