A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

360 304

More Chuck Norris facts

#141

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#663

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.

#108

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

#458

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.