A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants. 366 303 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (669 votes)
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.