A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#404

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#581

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#333

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#136

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#593

Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.