A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#663

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.