A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants. 363 304 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (667 votes)
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.