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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#589
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
#82
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#33
Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
#349
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
#209
Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A. is, in fact, a documentary.
#386
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
#395
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#463
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
#59
Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.
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