Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#202

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

#604

Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#320

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.