Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#726

Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#106

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#387

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.