Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#502

Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

#295

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#130

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

#498

MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).