Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch. 282 245 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (527 votes)
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.