Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch. 282 245 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (527 votes)
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.