Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#309

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#508

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#317

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.