Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

292 306

More Chuck Norris facts

#572

Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#601

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.