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Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
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#498
MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
#490
All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
#596
Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
#192
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
#602
Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
#402
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
#393
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#111
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
#211
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#185
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
#281
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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