Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.