Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#508

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#317

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.