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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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#572
Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#376
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
#466
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.
#167
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
#132
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
#412
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
#537
If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.
#587
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
#145
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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