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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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#52
Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.
#426
Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
#669
Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#81
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
#487
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
#269
Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
#733
Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.
#567
Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
#771
Thunder is the sound caused by Chuck Norris kicking Lightning's ass.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
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