Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#247

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.