Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel. 331 290 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (621 votes)
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.