Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel. 331 290 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (621 votes)
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.