A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer 297 320 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (617 votes)
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.