When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. 276 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (606 votes)
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”