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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
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#652
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
#671
The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#281
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
#562
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
#605
Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.
#61
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
#506
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
#276
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
#491
Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
#191
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
#565
No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
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