What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

#563

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#83

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#21

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#111

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.