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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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#638
Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#722
Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.
#252
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
#48
Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#487
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
#238
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
#61
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
#544
Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
#699
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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