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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#26
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
#491
Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
#707
Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.
#439
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
#88
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
#557
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
#770
Chuck Norris
#120
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
#652
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
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