Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#206

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.