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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
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#112
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
#24
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
#96
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#252
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#293
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
#723
Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.
#79
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
#614
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
#70
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
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