When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

326 292

More Chuck Norris facts

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#663

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#650

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

#193

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#345

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.