Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die. 317 295 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (612 votes)
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.